I was waiting for the MAX today and a guy came up and asked me for change. This is typical of Portland, but Jimmy was different. He already had a few dollars in his hand and asked for exactly what he needed - $9.82. Jimmy told me he was from Eugene and had come up to Portland to do some artwork; mostly window paintings. He was trying to buy a Greyhound ticket home but was coming up short. Considering that we were only three blocks from the station, I believed him. That, and he didn't have the bags (or smell) typical of Portland pan-handlers. I was generous and gave him all the change in my pocket (58 cents) and a $5 that just happened to be floating around with my keys. It wasn't the full $9.82, but it was enough of a start that he got excited and we talked for a bit.
Jimmy is 44 and grew up outside of Albany, near Scio off I-5. He never went to college and is self-educated as a painter. He travels up and down the I-5 corridor trying to find work, but has little luck as an artist. During Halloween and Christmas he finds plenty of odd jobs doing artwork in restaurants, but the rest of the year is filled with under-the-table help here and there.
Jimmy commented on how proud he was of Portland to create someone like me - allegedly the only 23 year old college graduate he's seen that doesn't smoke, drink, or do drugs. I'd like to think there are more "me's" out there, but Jimmy assured me that I'm a rarity and expressed how honored he was to shake my hand. He then passed on to me his philosophy on life. I'm amazed at how profound his concept of integrity was, so I feel obligated to pass it on to you.
If you're real with yourself, you'll be real with everyone else. You can't be real with anyone unless you're real with yourself first.
It may seem simple, but we had a 30-minute debate about what exactly it means and how to live your life by the simple rules it implies. Integrity is a habit. The example Jimmy used with me was promises and exercise. If you promise yourself you'll get up every morning at 5:45 and do 10 push-ups and follow through every morning, then you'll be in the habit of waking up early and do it without thinking. A friend trying to join you will find it awkward, but you'll already be up and pushing for them to keep pace with you. This extends to the promise-making aspect. If you keep promises to yourself, you're more ready to keep promises made to others. It will become a habit and you'll show up at 9am for a meeting as promised without having to think about it.
Likewise, if you can't wake up at 5:45 and do those push-ups, what makes you think you can show up at 9am for a meeting? If you can blow off number one, no one else will deserve better treatment. Even if you do wake up and do your push-ups, not doing so consistently makes each and every day a chore. Integrity is about second nature - an acquired behavior of honesty - not about wrapping a string around your finger to remind yourself that you're keeping a promise today versus yesterday or next week when you'll ignore it.
I was actually kind of disappointed when my train finally came. I could have stayed longer, but I needed to get home to finish a paper I promised myself I'd do. Jimmy told me that I was a great person and wanted me to promise not to change. "I'll try," I answered back as I climbed on the train.
"Don't try anything! Just do it and stay real with yourself. You were real with me, stay real with you."
I hope I can.
